No fighting, children

Oh, Tom. Why are you on this show? You deserve so much better....

Here we are again, DWTS glory and late again. I'm starting to sense a trend.
Well, let's see how much I remember from this week.

Kristi & Mark -
I may have said this before, but Mark always has EXTREME facial expressions during every dance. I'm glad he didn't have a fake naval officer's costume on like last week - that was just weird. I loved that CA tried to say that they were off at one point during the judging and both Bruno and Len just started shaking their heads. Amazing.
Their latin round wasn't as good as the ballroom, especially Kristi's outfit. It looked like a flapper dress collided with a giant banana. Very strange.

Mario & Karina -
Mario's ballroom round was actually better than his latin round, which I honestly never expected to happen. Still, I didn't really like it, but then again I don't really like Mario. The most that's-what-she-said-quote came from Mario's ballroom round, though.
Sayeth Carrie Ann:

"It was nice and stiff - just the way I wanted it."
I'm not kidding. And it is truly, what she said. (It's not often that that happens)

Marissa & Tony -
One word for this couple: underwhelming.
Also, Marissa always looks terrible. I feel bad for her. The costume department seriously needs to learn to do their jobs.
Another quality quote from their ballroom (I think) round, this time from Tom.

"Marissa and Tony will get their scores after the break, and we'll adjust Bruno's meds."
I'm dying to know how many times the production staff has said this to one another. There has to be a tally somewhere.

Jason & Edyta -
Highlight of their segment: Edyta made Jason get a spray tan.
Best thing EVER.
Edyta even said it was every dancer's secret weapon! I may like Jason a tiny bit more now because of this. Especially because he didn't want to do it, but did anyway. "With my complexion you should not be spray tanning." That will be the ongoing joke in the locker room next season. It has to be.

Speaking of which, I found out today that many sports teams require athletes to play handball in the off-season to maintain hand-eye coordination. Interesting, no?

Christian & Cheryl -
I was genuinely worried for Christian this week. A ruptured tendon (or whatever is wrong with him), is not something you want to be dancing and DOING LIFTS with.
And yet, he did it. And kicked ass.
They did their first dance to "Beat it" which could have been super corny, but totally wasn't and then in their Latin round....WOW. Probably one of my favorite dances all season. Christian did so well with his hips, foot work, and yes, even the lift. Cheryl basically just grabbed onto him and hung upside down at the end of the dance.
Still A-MAZ-ING.
Seriously, go watch it.

At the end of the night, Christian was in the lead, then Kristi, Mario, Jason, and Marissa.


On Tuesday, many past celebrities came back - Mel/Macks and Apollo/Julianne danced, and Tom talked to Lisa Rinna (barf), Drew Lacey, Jerry Springer and too many others. Except Kenny Mayne. I love Kenny Mayne

I was expecting Marissa to go home because she is not very good, had the lowest score, and probably doesn't have the biggest fan base. But was she in the bottom 2?

No.

It was Jason and Mario in the bottom, and while the evil part of my personality would have LOVED to see Jason go home, he doesn't technically deserve it.
Long story short, Mario went home, kept it semi-classy, and Marissa and Jason will live to dance again.

I'm not going to make a prediction because of the disastrous results it may (or may not....) cause.