Another Day, Another Dance

And here we are again. I have just barely recovered from the Latin dance-appaloosa, so here we go with another fun filled DWTS. Gird your loins, people.

Jason & Edyta -
They went to a hip-hop class to get into it, or something. Like all of Jason's dances, it was ok, not that amazing, he has really big arms blah blah...

Shannon & Derek -
Ok, so last week I said that there was definitely something going on between them. This week, whatever doubts about that have disappeared. Completely. They went to the beach to "practice". Derek, of course, ended up with no shirt on him and quasi wrestled with Shannon. Their actual dance was better than last week, since there was no way she could have been more stiff this time.
While waiting for scores (they got 24), Samantha decided to try to ask questions about their relationship. Predictably, she sucked it up big time, but thankfully DWTS has one thing that will always be going for it. Tom Bergeron.
Said the best host ever (of a competitive celebrity dancing show) "Next week Samantha will be grilling prisoners at Gitmo."
HA! America is indebted to him forever.

Marlee & Fabian -
The dance was pretty bad. They were a little off, and generally just trying too hard. The judges, who since the Jason stumbling debacle have been doing a decent job, made a big deal, again, of how inspirational Marlee is. You could tell she was losing patience. I don't understand why they sugar coat everything with her and then give her half assed criticism. She's still competing and wants FEEDBACK. Since they're judges, and they do this better with everyone else, this shouldn't be too difficult.

Christian & Cheryl -
I like Christian. He's basically, oh what's the term? Smoking Hot? Yeah, I think that's it.
They did a foxtrot. His footwork was great, he was wearing a pink tie, Cheryl was wearing an actual dress for a change (and it was the weirdest thing I've ever seen) and they got a 27. I thought he might have gotten a 10, but whatever.

Usually, the best line from the judges comes from the tripped out psyche that is Bruno Tonioli, but tonight Len was the man. This was his opening line to Christian.

"If you're in the bottom 2 tomorrow, I'll show my bum in the supermarket."

I almost want them to be in the bottom 2, not to see that surely grisly sight, but to know if Len has the guts to do it, and what supermarket he goes to. Does he really do his own grocery shopping? What does he buy? Ensure, at least...
Anyway, with any brilliant statement comes (inevitably) a brilliant comment from Tom.

"I hope you're in the frozen foods department."

I believe that is what we call a burn.

Marissa & Tony -
They seem to really enjoy each other during the rehearsal blurbs, even though Ken seems corny pretty much all the time. I don't really remember their dance, but it was pretty good, I guess, they got a 26, Marissa squeaked a lot...

Kristi & Mark -
Were you wondering when they would get a perfect 30? Well, besides the fact that they totally should have gotten it LAST WEEK CARRIE ANN, they got it and totally deserved it, tonight. I have a feeling that Mark basically is just choreographing for a pro at this point, their routines are that good. Mark was also wearing these giant glasses that made him look super nerdy and I really wanted him to say Lambda Lambda Lambda! more than I can possibly express.

Mario & Karina -
This performance in one word: Overrated.
I don't hate Mario or anything, but really? Let's Get it On as a song?! Come on. First of all, no one can do a cover as well as Jack Black. Second of all, they BARELY DANCED. It was a lot of crap that was supposed to be sexy, which, sure whatever, but where were the FREAKING DANCE MOVES?!?! I didn't understand it. Len didn't like it either, but still gave them a 9 (28 total) which doesn't make any sense to me. Bruno was being a little risqué and had to be bleeped out. Oh and Carrie Ann said it was better than good sex. I kid you not.
Speaking of kids, isn't this a family show?

Tonight saw the first group number. It was kind of a yawn fest with a western theme (sheriffs vs. outlaws) and a little solo section for each couple. Kristi was the head Sheriff (seriously, she was, even though that title makes NO SENSE) and Jason was the head Outlaw. Again, outlaws have a leader? They faced off at the end and Kristi shot Jason, unfortunetely not for real, and the Sheriffs were victorious in that completely staged but "unpredictable" way.


Who's going home? As much as I hate to say it, probably Marlee. I think Shannon maybe has a chance too, but what with the developing relationship/masterful editing, people will probably just keep them in hopes that they'll end up making out at some point. Welcome to America.