Then again, maybe not.
In moving back to Minneapolis for another year of college, I had to wrap up my summer job last week. I expect to find a news article any day reporting the office burst into flames after someone couldn't change the toner. It could happen.
I'm not really that sad about it in all honesty. Sure, I'll miss the people I worked with - mostly - and the pay - still lower than it should have been, sorry, this is not the time for a rant - but I'm not too bent out of shape. Ok, there is an actual story I was going to tell. Here goes, um, something.
I've worked in the same office for two summers. This summer was different, I knew the people calling all the time, the procedures, how to work the fax machine, but I did have a lot more responsibility and new things to do. One thing, however stayed the same.
Every day that I had the office coffee I used the same mug. It is, quite possibly, one of the best mugs I have ever encountered. It has Snap, Crackle, and Pop of Rice Krispie fame printed on the outside. It made my morning coffee experience so much better and generally just brightened up my day. It even has its own little quirks. There's a small crack through the bottom of the handle (not bad enough to doom it to the garbage thankfully) and a permanent stain on the side.
In short, I loved this mug. And long ago I decided I would steal it.
I knew no one would miss it because a) it was always on my desk b) there were about 15 other mugs in the cupboard for the other 6 people and c) there was an almost identical Rice Krispie mug in the cupboard. But mine was special.
The other one has a lipstick stain on it - very unflattering - and just didn't seem to have the worldly perspective mine did.
On my last day of work I used my mug as usual and decided to wash and dry it out so it didn't get water all over the other stuff in my purse. My plan was to set it on my desk and as 5 o'clock approached, put it in my bag when no one was over by my desk. This was no problem.
Except that I also had a Tazo tea glass bottle and a travel mug to take home as well. I had wanted to make an inconspicuous exit, but with 2 or 3 bulky cups in my small-ish purse, I knew this would be difficult.
I decided to put both the bottle and mug in my purse and carry the travel mug to the car. Luckily most people were gone by the time I was leaving and the ones that were left were guys and, let's face it, were not going to notice the unsightly bulges in my bag.
I made it out unscathed. But....I was meeting a few people from work for dinner.
Now, a normal person would not have irrational fears about leaving a mug and tea bottle in the passenger seat of their car, but obviously I am not your normal individual.
I pulled up to the restaurant and immediately thought about what I should do. I wasn't going to put it in the trunk, that's a little too drug dealer-ish for me, and I didn't have a blanket in the backseat to hide them under so I decided (thinking I was taking too long and needed to go inside) to place the mug under my seat. As I gingerly set it on the carpet I reminded myself not to kick it when I got back in the car.
Upon getting out of the car I managed to drop my cell phone, a few receipts and some band aids on the pavement in front of about 15 people sitting on the porch. Brilliant.
As expected, I did kick the mug when I got back in the car an hour and a half later, but other than that I think it was a very successful heist.
Yes, I daresay it was.