December 9, 2007

I love coffee. Loud people? Not so much.

I love coffee. This is no secret (see above). I also really enjoy going to Starbucks, partly for the coffee, and partly for the music, but there is something that Starbucks unfortunetely has fallen prey to on several of my frequent visits.
Loud people.
Now, I understand that if you're at a Starbucks with a friend, two friends, or a mob of Fergie fans you'd want to talk with them. Perhaps you may just want to ask them about their ridiculous choice in music or what the hell "my humps" is even about. Still, I beg of you, respect your fellow starbucks patrons. These people just want to enjoy their coffee, maybe a muffin, and listen to the XM Starbucks channel. They will probably KILL YOU VERY SOON IF YOU DO NOT COMPLY. To wit...

One morning I went to my neighborhood Starbucks before my science class to caffiene-up so I could stay awake for the whole lecture. I was sitting by a window on a stool and there were these two guys behind me talking in a foreign language (Chinese? Japanese? Korean? Thai? I do not know, and do not want to guess as I have no way to know and would feel bad making an assumption based solely on a guess. I would probably also offend a whole lotta people, well, at least the 2 people that read this). Normally, I can block conversations of any language out when I am reading, working on homework or planning world domination (I won't tell you which of these activities I was engaged in on this particular morning. Not even you, NSA man!). As these men were talking, I quickly realized this would be harder than normal. One of them talked in a normal voice, easy to block out - no problem. The other man, however, was talking REALLY LOUD. SERIOUSLY, IN ALL CAPS (that is, if I had even the slightest clue as to what he was saying.) Needless to say, I was very distracted and tried to read The Onion, but was not very successful.

Last weekend, I went to Starbucks (the same one) on a Sunday afternoon to do some reading for one of my classes. I needed to get out of my room and hadn't had a latte in a really long time so I trudged on over. I sat at a desk sort of thing that has 2 lamps on it and several strategically placed power outlets that I proceeded to not use. I'm not sure why I included the whole power outlets thing. Anyway...there was a girl nearby with probably all her textbooks, 3 notebooks and a laptop spread out on a small table and the extra chair nearby. She first was on the phone with someone telling them how she had to do all this work blah blah, I don't care. It was obnoxious and distracting because she was about 8 feet away and practically yelling into her cell phone. This was annoying for several reasons. First of all, you don't have to talk that loud. Cell phones these days work quite well, and you're in a Starbucks, you have good signal. Second of all, get off the freaking phone if you have so much work to do. A few minutes later she called her mom and talked on the phone for 15 minutes or so mentioning again how much work she hadn't done and other boring crap that no one, including your mother, cares about. After that, by the grace of God, she was quiet and I finished a chapter. Then disaster struck. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed her go to both the front of the store and the bathroom in a short span of time. Then, big surprise, she called someone and on the verge of tears relayed a story to both them and THE ENTIRE STARBUCKS about how she had spilled coffee on her computer, got nothing done and now like her like space key and enter key are like not like working. *Sob*

I wish I could say that I'm not proud of the fact that I had to hold back laughter, but I'm neither a liar nor that nice of a person.

Consider your expectations met.

November 25, 2007

Story of my life

I spent Wednesday night at the Ramada in Green Bay Wisconsin. You may be wondering, but Klue, why on earth would you want to spend Thanksgiving Eve in Green Bay? Well, I didn't. In fact, I probably never will. On my way home for operation turkey, there apparently was snow, or wind or ice, and our pilot apparently values his life or something, so we didn't quite make it. Also, since I was flying Northwest, and they hate being successful, we had to pay for it. Discounted, of course, but I didn't order crappy weather to stop us from landing when we were supposed to, so why should I pay for what amounted to a nap? Am I suggesting that Northwest did this? "This" being stealing our joy, robbing us of breakfast and proper caffeine? I cannot say, as they won't return my calls.
Luckily, the next morning, we did get home eventually, but only after the genius pilot totally freaked us all out when telling us that our back-up plan was not to land somewhere in Michigan, but to return to Minneapolis.
This did not go over well. Needless to say, our flight attendant had some major damage control to do. She was, however, the best flight attendant I have ever had, making it literally impossible to be mad at her, so we all just kind of shrugged and made fun of Green Bay as much as possible.
With that comes a comic from toothpaste for dinner that I'm hoping will not come to symbolize my flight experiences, but will probably not be surprised if this is the case.

November 11, 2007

Me in cartoon form

Yes, it has happened. The day you all, well, maybe just me, have been waiting for...I have my very own avatar. (Courtesy of the good people at The Simpsons and Emsizz, for bringing this fantastic non-waste of time to my attention.) I will waste no time describing the many splendid qualities of said avatar, and display for the world (aka the 3 people who read this) to see.

Coming Soon: Klue gets a Second second life and befriends a man named Dwight who sells paper and flies. What will she do next?!

November 5, 2007

The stars they are dancing

As much as this pains me to say, I am nearly addicted to Dancing with the Stars (not really). My roommate and I have watched it 2 weeks in a row, but only on Mondays since she has class and I have to work on Tuesdays, and we even discuss it during commercials. It is quite the, uh, phenomenon. I'm a little disappointed in the stars actually. I thought Jane Seymour was better than this...alas, she is a contestant, and not really the best one either. I mean, she's ok, but Scary Spice (yes, THE Scary Spice - sans scary hair) has totally kicked her butt both weeks. Also, Tom Burgeron is my hero. As is Len, the old English judge. The other host and the chick judge, not so much. They're basically stupid, boring and dumb but with highlights. Not surprising, but still...
While I could go on for quite some time, I would like to go to bed soon so I'll just list the highlights in no particular order.
- Drama, drama, drama, with a pinch of drama on the side. First Jane's mom apparently died (before I became a "loyal" viewer) then Marie Osmond fainted, then Jane had food poisoning and couldn't come to the results show, then the Cheetah Girl! got kicked off. Ok, two of those were more funny than dramatic, but I have been told that I have a sick sense of humor. So.
- Marie Osmond (MO) said to her dancing partner to "kick [her] trash" tonight. Seriously? Trash??? I understand that they want to keep things clean and that MO has never, ever swore but come on. She couldn't say the slightly less offensive "butt" or "tush" before trash???
- Joke, from Len (who is from England, I think I mentioned this already) "Just because you're from Brazil doesn't mean that you know how to dance the (insert correct name of dance that I don't remember here) just like how just because you're from Texas, doesn't mean that you know how to be President" heehee...
- The fact that Tom doesn't really do anything but crack jokes the whole time, and he is the only one of the 2 "hosts" that has any public speaking skills whatsoever. Also, he was on Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me!!
- Last week the Racecar driver's partner said he was the only athlete left. Ha. Athlete. Good one. Yeah, I usually break a sweat and burn oh so many calories driving in circles too. We now refer to him always using finger quotes. "The "athlete" kind of sucked it up tonight" for example is always effective.
- That one actress from 90210 is on this show. I just really respect her as a person, and she's not as annoying as MO or Scary Spice so I'm pulling for her.

October 31, 2007

So close...

I am terrible at ordering things. Well, ok, that's not always true. At restaurants, I have time to decide what looks really good before placing my order. Online I have many options and take my time with whatever I'm choosing to buy. At Caribou, however, I have discovered that unless I drag my aching body to the counter and whimper "coffee" I suck. Yesterday I went to Caribou because I had a coupon that was expiring today. I walked in, excited about the caffeine soon to be rushing through my veins, and got to the counter only to completely freeze when the guy asked me what I wanted. Stammering, I think I picked the second thing I saw - saying 'medium macchiato' thinking soon after that I had no idea what that was. I think Meg Ryan ordered one in You've Got Mail, but she says more than medium macchiato and she was at a Starbucks. I also ordered a muffin then waited for my drink.
When I got my drink, it seemed light, like it was only half-full or so, then I sat down and took the first drink. The only way I can describe it is to say that I have almost completely blocked it from my memory. Tears came to my eyes, that's all that's left.
I waited a few minutes before scuttling over to the counter to get a package of sugar and a creamer.
It almost saved it.

October 29, 2007

One of a Million

I am one of the (over, I believe) million supporters of Steven T. Colbert. It is a true fact. Check the facebook group.
A story written on my home page (well, not mine, but it pops up when I open Mozilla) talks about Steven Colbert's run in South Carolina.
I am included in this group, and this group is in the news, therefore I am news.
You heard it here first.

In other news, I went to a signing of Post Secret books today. It was awesome. So awesome, in fact, that I bought a book - it was even on sale! - and Frank signed it. I was going to have it "personalized" but decided against it at the last minute. I don't really know why, I guess it just seemed odd to me that I would ask someone to write something in a book, making it look like they themselves thought of it and wanted to write it in my book, when really I just wanted to seem cooler to the people who see it on my coffee table and pick it up. I think FRANK in red ink next to the title is just about the right amount of coolness for me.

October 10, 2007

Not So Manic Monday

I like shortcuts. This is probably one of those things that is universally enjoyed by most, especially those living in cold places, or to those that are usually running late (pun intended). There is one shortcut that is used by many people here at the U that goes through the medical complex. I just discovered this week a shortcut within the shortcut (tricky) that goes past a little statue of Lucy, from Peanuts. It's great. My dorm is also right across from an emergency room, and next to it, a cancer center. Sometimes, well more than sometimes, it is a sad place to live. Seeing sick children getting some fresh air with their parents, people with IV's going for a walk by themselves, families(presumably) looking tired on their phones across the street, or a husband and wife exchanging worried looks and holding hands as they walk through the front sliding doors is extremely humbling. I often walk through and think about what these people think of being right in the heart of a college campus. Are they worried? Do they think of different lives for themselves? Do they resent the fact that we are choosing to go through these places and don't have to stay when they have no choice and have to stay for an indefinite amount of time?
Although sad, the shortcut is nonetheless extremely helpful leading to the back of the Student Union. Monday I was walking back, using the shortcut, and as I was about to cross the street, a car passed by. Now, I don't usually make a point to look inside the car, mainly because that is CREEPY, but on Monday I happened to glance at the passenger window and who should be sitting there but Al Franken himself. Realizing this about halfway through the crosswalk, I think I might have said aloud (to no one) Was that Al Franken?!
I remembered then that this was the day that he was having a rally in the Student Union. After walking back to my dorm and up four flights of stairs to my room, I decided that, while I probably won't be voting in Minnesota, I needed to go and experience my first ever political rally. I'm not going to recount every detail, mainly because I'm really tired after working tonight, but here are some highlights: I met Al Franken's wife. Her name is Fannie (or maybe Frannie...) she was really nice and was walking around giving people cookies. They were pretty good. Before the rally officially started, they were playing popular music for, well I don't know, but it reminded me of Hilary Clinton's campaign theme song contest thing. By the way - that video on you tube - LAME. Anyway, one of the songs they played (Besides Waiting For the World to change, OF COURSE) was on the pre season promos for The Office. It's a good song and it made me happy. During the music playing they were also showing a slideshow of all these pictures of Al Franken, and one of them was from when he graduated from college. Let me just say, best picture EVER. So funny. Same glasses, same hair but a little longer. Great. Ironically, before I left my room to go to the rally, I looked in the mirror and thought wow, my hair is ridiculous. But then again, so is Al Frankens. Ha. Ok, one last highlight, during his speech he was talking about my generation (our generation?) and the time period we've come of age and he said something I have come to agree with. This was it, verbatim. "Many of you don't know that our president doesn't have to be incompetent and clueless." One more thing that I really liked about him was that his speech wasn't all about how Republicans suck and should die. I'm not a fan of that. It's not that I am a Republican, it's just that to me, that solves absolutely nothing which should be the purpose of government.
Ok, I'm getting dizzy. Goodnight internetdom.

Shoot, one last highlight. I got a sign with Al's autograph on it. My first political rally and autograph all in one afternoon. So very exciting.

October 5, 2007

Pink eye, puddles and other ways to die

Today I almost died. Several times.

#1 - I woke up this morning with a very red eye, which had started last night, but got worse through the night. After my first class I went on an ingenious website to check my symptoms only to find that I have to wait a little longer to see if I do indeed have pink eye and will die an eye related death. Probably will be freaking painful and an obviously very pathetic way, but such is life.

#2 - I had to go across the bridge for class (which goes over the mighty mississippi) and realized about five minutes before I should leave (if I was going to ride my bike) that it is raining again. I decide that I will ride my bike instead of taking the bus - it can't be that bad, right? Riiiiight. Ok, so I start riding and my tires, which are not the knubby kind, more like the street kind, are kicking up an unbelievable amount of water at the bottom of my pants. I decide to go around large puddles. Naturally, this makes very little difference. Shortly thereafter I realize that my back tire is also kicking up a fair amount of water. On the back of my pants. So now, not only does it look like I peed my pants, but also that the pee made it all the way down to my socks. Fun. Hypothermia, here I come.

#3 - Still riding bike. Momentarily considered locking up bike near bus stop and ride bus instead. Alas, did not take this course of action. Riding down the sidewalk, I decide to go around someone on the grass since I am impatient and didn't want to follow them at a very slow pace. I get off the sidewalk, am past the person, turn to get back on the sidewalk...and wipe out. Almost completely. Amazingly enough, I didn't fall on the sidewalk, but managed to ram someone's backpack (maybe arm too, can't remember) with my handlebars and simultaneously look like the biggest idiot EVER. Completely mortified I recovered, started riding again and had to pass the same person a second time. Also, because of the rain, I was not wearing my helmet. Not the best decision of my life, given that this was the closest I came to death thus far on my bike.

I'm writing this with about 8 hours left in the day. I am optimistic that there will be no more near death experiences today, but I am and will not bet money on it. Why, you ask? See above.

September 27, 2007

That would be mine

Ok, before I begin let me just state for the record that generally I am not an idiot. I know it sounds stupid, but I pride myself at not (at least, not continually) making a complete ass out of myself in front of annoying people, other classmates/peers, and TA's.
That being said, here is my story....
Yesterday during my lab for environmental issues, we went on a field trip. Our goal was to measure temperature, salinity, clarity and observe plankton in 2 separate lakes. Let me interrupt my own story now to talk about my lab group and our previous lab, also a field trip. I am in a lab group with two guys. One is obviously very athletic, pretty smart but not annoyingly so and a pretty nice guy (at least from what I have seen of him). The other guy, in a word, is an ass. This is all his personality merits, trust me. On the previous field trip, we were to identify plants in and around a nursery. This, with my particular group, was torture.
This time, jerk-boy (this is his new name - I didn't name the other. Um, sneakers is his name) was absent. I secretly hoped - correction, hope - that he dropped the class. Anyway, we got on the bus, each of us with half of the equipment needed for our data gathering. We were the first on the dock, therefore securing one of the best spots to do our sciencing.(It's a word, get over it) We were doing great (which is critical to point out given that it was ridiculously windy), we gathered our data, took turns doing what we needed to do, and were then given a new lab partner. She, thank the good Lord above, was not an idiot and further helped, as opposed to hindered our objectives. I actually felt really bad that she had to come to our group, since she had almost all her information done with the other group and probably didn't have much choice in the matter. Luckily, she was a good sport and didn't complain at all. I wondered if she saw that Oprah with the no complaining bracelets. Probably so. Or maybe not. Nevertheless, with one site down, we were in great shape.
After getting off the bus at the second lake, we once again secured a prime position on the dock and set out on our mission, doing exactly the same thing we had just done ten minutes before. We were doing fine, the wind significantly less strong here. I bent down to get the second instrument we needed, and disaster struck. After retrieving the box from the dock, I stood back up just in time to see the two most important papers of my lab report - the data records page and subsequent questions - land on the surface of the lake 15 feet away.
I should also say that normally I do not swear, mainly on the basis that I find it at the core uncreative (except that I have done so twice in this blog thus far..) The word "fuck" for example really has no meaning when people use it just because they can, 6 times in an eleven word sentence. Today, however, my immediate response was "sshit".
My lab partner, sneakers, was able to get the paper that didn't have the data on it back. Our instructor came over, laughing, to try to help me out as the guys in the next group were wondering (aloud, of course) whose paper that was. Being the genius I am I said "that would be mine" while lamely half raising my hand. Good God. To make a long story short, my instructor tried about 5 times to get my other paper back with a plankton net, but was unsuccessful since my paper had started floating farther and farther away. The girl lab partner said several times that she totally didn't touch it. Yeah, like she'd sabotage my lab of all things. I knew she hadn't, but I thought about asking her if she had a history of shoving things in lakes. I decided against it.
So now I wait for my girl lab partner to email me page 1. So I don't fail. I didn't really care that much, except that with my 2 papers and most of my dignity fell one of my awesome $2 pencils. Actually maybe $3. For about a minute it floated on the surface before suddenly plunging down to the depths of the murky, green waters. It even had extra lead in it. And it was blue.
As the bus (yes, yellow school bus and all) drove away I saw a little boy staring in horror at the bus and its occupants. I wondered if he knew about the pencil.

September 24, 2007

Admit it, I'm right.

At the end of my global politics class today, after being nearly trampled by people running for the door, I saw a guy carry a girl's backpack for her. She even had it on already and he literally took it off for her, slung it over his shoulder, pretended to nearly fall over at the added weight and walked out the door. (which I found even more ridiculous since he appeared to offer to carry it, and it was ONLY A FREAKING BACKPACK)
I like chivalry as much as the next girl, but seriously. A backpack? If someone wanted to carry something for me, fine, but there are certain parameters in which this would be allowed. Big, awkwardly shaped TV? Yes. Anything over 30 lbs that has to go up 4 flights of stairs? Certainly. Heavy shopping bag? Of course. Broken limbs or other impediments? Don't mind if I do. Backpack or purse? No thanks, I'm not quite that retarded. (not that she was retarded or anything...I'm just saying.)
This is the kind of thing that annoys me about girls. If someone is, frankly, weird enough to want to carry a backpack for me I would decline because I've been taking care of my own backpack-carrying needs for, oh, 14 years now. Also, it would quite simply freak me out. This way, although I would feel slightly insulted by the notion that I couldn't (or even shouldn't?) carry my own belongings, I could obviously prove them wrong by using said backpack the way God intended: The owner schlepping it themselves - no supervision needed. But doesn't being all "Ok, Johnny, sure you can carry it. That one notebook and all my back-up lip gloss in there really hurts my spine! (*sniffle)" show that girls really are as helpless as some guys think they are?
Yes, it does.

Well, at least until I break my clavicle or something and have to hire someone to carry my stuff around for me.

September 15, 2007

Hello, world.

Today I explored. I explored the world. Well, ok, I explored a very small part of my world. Approximately 3 square blocks actually. I went to this coffee shop that I go by everyday, and each one of those days have thought that it would be an interesting place to go. There was nothing really that brave about going there, I just never had before, but it felt so nice, so different to just go by myself to read a book (granted, not the book I might choose exactly - it was for a class). It wasn't a necessarily novel thing to do, but I guess up until this point in my life, I've always felt that I have needed an explanation for going somewhere by myself to sit and drink coffee in a new (to me, at least) place. Over the summer I would think that I'd want to go and get something to eat at this new deli sort of place downtown but I always felt that I needed justification. I felt like it wasn't enough that I just wanted to go, I needed to have an errand to run near there like going to the bank or post office and then decide, oh, well since I'm so close I should stop for a sandwich, use up the rest of the time on the meter. Today I just went. I read a chapter (a whole 36 hours before my class that I need to have it read for! How prepared I am!) wrote a postcard, just sat, not needing to go to the post office or bank.
It was wonderful. If everyday were like today it would be even more wonderful. Except, probably, I would have a caffeine habit, no money and probably wouldn't be enrolled in school. Hmm. Well, if every Saturday were like this, yes that would be great. Maybe this will become a ritual, like I don't know, Christmas or brushing your teeth. That doesn't really make sense though, because I do (yes, it is true) brush my teeth more than once a week and Christmas....bad examples, never mind.
It was good. A good day.