Ok, before I begin let me just state for the record that generally I am not an idiot. I know it sounds stupid, but I pride myself at not (at least, not continually) making a complete ass out of myself in front of annoying people, other classmates/peers, and TA's.
That being said, here is my story....
Yesterday during my lab for environmental issues, we went on a field trip. Our goal was to measure temperature, salinity, clarity and observe plankton in 2 separate lakes. Let me interrupt my own story now to talk about my lab group and our previous lab, also a field trip. I am in a lab group with two guys. One is obviously very athletic, pretty smart but not annoyingly so and a pretty nice guy (at least from what I have seen of him). The other guy, in a word, is an ass. This is all his personality merits, trust me. On the previous field trip, we were to identify plants in and around a nursery. This, with my particular group, was torture.
This time, jerk-boy (this is his new name - I didn't name the other. Um, sneakers is his name) was absent. I secretly hoped - correction, hope - that he dropped the class. Anyway, we got on the bus, each of us with half of the equipment needed for our data gathering. We were the first on the dock, therefore securing one of the best spots to do our sciencing.(It's a word, get over it) We were doing great (which is critical to point out given that it was ridiculously windy), we gathered our data, took turns doing what we needed to do, and were then given a new lab partner. She, thank the good Lord above, was not an idiot and further helped, as opposed to hindered our objectives. I actually felt really bad that she had to come to our group, since she had almost all her information done with the other group and probably didn't have much choice in the matter. Luckily, she was a good sport and didn't complain at all. I wondered if she saw that Oprah with the no complaining bracelets. Probably so. Or maybe not. Nevertheless, with one site down, we were in great shape.
After getting off the bus at the second lake, we once again secured a prime position on the dock and set out on our mission, doing exactly the same thing we had just done ten minutes before. We were doing fine, the wind significantly less strong here. I bent down to get the second instrument we needed, and disaster struck. After retrieving the box from the dock, I stood back up just in time to see the two most important papers of my lab report - the data records page and subsequent questions - land on the surface of the lake 15 feet away.
I should also say that normally I do not swear, mainly on the basis that I find it at the core uncreative (except that I have done so twice in this blog thus far..) The word "fuck" for example really has no meaning when people use it just because they can, 6 times in an eleven word sentence. Today, however, my immediate response was "sshit".
My lab partner, sneakers, was able to get the paper that didn't have the data on it back. Our instructor came over, laughing, to try to help me out as the guys in the next group were wondering (aloud, of course) whose paper that was. Being the genius I am I said "that would be mine" while lamely half raising my hand. Good God. To make a long story short, my instructor tried about 5 times to get my other paper back with a plankton net, but was unsuccessful since my paper had started floating farther and farther away. The girl lab partner said several times that she totally didn't touch it. Yeah, like she'd sabotage my lab of all things. I knew she hadn't, but I thought about asking her if she had a history of shoving things in lakes. I decided against it.
So now I wait for my girl lab partner to email me page 1. So I don't fail. I didn't really care that much, except that with my 2 papers and most of my dignity fell one of my awesome $2 pencils. Actually maybe $3. For about a minute it floated on the surface before suddenly plunging down to the depths of the murky, green waters. It even had extra lead in it. And it was blue.
As the bus (yes, yellow school bus and all) drove away I saw a little boy staring in horror at the bus and its occupants. I wondered if he knew about the pencil.
3 comments:
Oooh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge. (except I didn't say fudge).
I second the 'swearing doesn't make you creative' sentiment. "Efity eff eff eff" is not an interesting or helpful thought. "You are a complete waste of space" however is. (that one's for your lab partner)
That would really suck. I had an experience almost sorta kinda like that but not really. I was just getting out of my 111 class, and the bus was right outside the building like 10 ft away from the stop waiting at a light, and I went up to the door and started waving at the bus driver to let me on, but he didn't see. So I waved again. And then the bus continued on its merry way and I just stood there, watching, said, "Fuck," and stomped the last 20 paces to the bus stop and took out my bus pass and pretended nothing had happened. I'm sure I really entertained a busload of people, but I don't really care. As it turns out, it was a good thing I didn't get on that bus because I would've gotten to my class 30 minutes early. But still.
i seriously wish i was there for that.
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